Newspaper Notices

Most days, I read the obituaries in our newspaper. I’ve lived here long enough that the names and faces of people that I know — or knew, I guess, in this case — turn up in those pages and I want to be aware when that happens.  I don’t however, take the time to read the various court reports.  There are listings of bankruptcies, marriage licenses issued and marriage dissolutions granted.  There are notices of criminal sentencing — charges for controlled substance possession, theft, dangerous weapon violations, burglary, driving without a license and driving while intoxicated — courtroom goings-on of all sorts.  They’re written in a smallish print and take up part of the local section of the paper every day. My plumber has lived here his whole life so knows a ton of people and he says that in addition to the obituary notices, he follows those court reports religiously. Though he’s been happily married to his high school sweetheart for over thirty years, he loves to wink and tell people that the reason he reads the divorce petitions every day is to make sure his name isn’t listed there.