Burn, Baby, Burn

When the coronavirus showed up, I decided it would be smart to sanitize not only the groceries ordered online and picked up curbside, but the daily newspaper and the mail as well — especially after one of my Facebook friends very authoritatively posted that thirty seconds in the microwave would kill the virus on paper. I didn’t know if it was accurate but I figured it couldn’t hurt. There are additional studies now saying the virus doesn’t live long on those objects, but this was before that — and in the meantime, I managed to destroy a couple of things that had been mailed in plain wrappers. One was a Rick Steves DVD, our premium from the local public television station for membership renewal, the other a replacement credit card for my husband. I’m surprised the ancient microwave didn’t balk at the metal chip in the card, but no — instead, the card was melted until it resembled ripples on an ocean floor. When I told one of my friends, she thought it was the funniest thing she’d heard and laughed and laughed at my blunder — and then called back two days later to sheepishly report she had microwaved — and melted — her own brand new credit card. It’s a good thing it wasn’t a video call and she couldn’t see my face. I’m pretty sure my smugness was apparent.

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