Honesty

Honesty. That’s a tough one. Billy Joel wrote a whole song about it. An instructor I had back in massage school claimed you should be able to say anything to anyone if you do it with love. I really bought into that idea at the time and still try and implement it whenever I can, although it’s not always easy for me. When a woman I know got to be in her 70’s , she kind of suddenly decided she could say whatever was on her mind, no matter what. “I’m just calling it like it is,” she insisted but holy cow. There’s a fine line between being honest and being hurtful. I still remember when I was in high school, I took a very tall friend with me to visit my grandmother. “My, you’re a big one, aren’t you, girl?!?” was what came out of my grandma’s mouth when she met my friend. Not exactly offensive but certainly not tactful either. My grandmother was not demented but she was old and I overlooked it although as a teenager, I was mortified. This was not the way I’d been instructed in the art of diplomacy. She was a tough old farm woman who was used to speaking her mind. She had been widowed many years earlier. She’d had a baby die, a son kill himself, and her husband trampled by a bull. She was left to run the farm and family. She was outspoken and used to being in charge. I get that. At the same time I never forgot how embarrassed I felt for my friend. When I ended up in massage school and the owner of the school told us about being able to say anything to anyone, I laughed and remembered her, the only grandparent I had ever known. I decided not to necessarily make her my role model in that aspect of life.

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