Ping-Pong-a-Ding-Dong

Ever get pulled into a discussion that escalates and before you know it, becomes a back-and-forth anxiety session with a friend or somebody in your family? Someone you care about is worried and they tell you about their fear. You pick up on their anxiety. They pick up on the fact you’re now experiencing some anxiety as well. And back and forth it goes. That’s what one of my sons calls “Ping-Pong-a-Ding-Dong”. I could also see it applied it to back-and-forth bashing of a friend or family member. Someone says something critical about a person, you add another negative. Then they think of something else that’s unattractive either physically or personality-wise about that person and before you know it, the two of you have totally trashed someone. Ping-Pong- a-Ding-Dong. I thought of it when Anne Lamont talked about a similar situation in her most recent book. At first the camaraderie feels almost a little bit like fun, being in agreement with what you both see as flaws or quirky behavior. Giggling about another person. Smirking together. Having a meeting of a club where you’re the members who decide who gets in and who doesn’t. I learned to do plenty of that when I was a kid. About a neighbor who was hugely obese. About an aunt and uncle who drank too much, never mind that my own parents enjoyed a “cocktail hour” more than I would have liked. About how so-and-so left town in a hurry and what was up with that?!?! These conversations can escalate and quickly become like a house a-fire. And then, at least to me, it’s no fun at all. The next time you’re invited to play ping-pong-a-ding-dong, my advice is to think about where it might lead and decline the invitation. Avoid that slippery slope..

Photo courtesy Brett_Hondow at Pixabay.com