We’re the Same

I worked full time as a massage therapist for almost 30 years. The massage school stressed over and over how important it was to realize how strongly the profession is focused on Service. With a capital S. When I was starting my business, I took that to extreme. If someone wanted an appointment at 7 at night, I agreed. Why not? I had one person who wanted to come in at 6:30 in the morning, before she started her work day and I said okay to that too. It reminds me of the saying, “If you let people walk on you, some people will still complain you’re not flat enough.” I couldn’t figure out how to establish good boundaries with working hours and continue to build my practice. At some point I went to a statewide convention and heard an experienced therapist talk about taking control of your business and he, as a side gig, offered sessions to help. I jumped at the opportunity. Before long I fixed my working hours and learned how to say no but aside from that, one of the most valuable things that came up in one of my sessions with him happened when I complained about a client that drove me nuts. She was constantly trying to get me to commit to social occasions with her. I caved once for a lunch before I learned to say no and lived to regret it. She wanted me to pray with her before her bodywork sessions. I hoped she didn’t have some sort of premonition about her upcoming massage and thought she needed to pray ahead of time and I told her no but to feel free if she wanted to do that by herself. She told me some disturbing things about herself. So much about her was so troubling to me that I brought the situation up during one of my sessions with the business counselor. I ranted for a while and when I was done he said, “You know, you’re not a better person than she is.” Whoa. That was unexpected. But I got his point. We’re all the same. In lots of different ways but alike in lots of others. She was a consistent client over the years so I guess she got what she needed from our sessions. I know I did.

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